‘Khastegari’ is a custom in which families of both girl and boy come to meet each other for the first time with or without knowing each other before and this time could be the first time the the boy and the girl meet each other.
In this meeting, families as well as the boy and the girl talk to each for about 4-5 hours to get to know each other.
Also, the ways people celebrate marriage ceremonies are dissimilar in the countries based on those differences.
Being in an English learning for international students class, I think (hope!
and they continue dating until they falling in love with each other and getting married or break up the relationships and start another one.
The second category are those families we called ‘open-minded’ or ‘modern’ families.
Another problem rises when the families decide to force their children to marry in a traditional way while these boys and girls have their own relationships and want to get marry in a different way with different person. In the ‘Patakhti’ ceremony usually the couple just invites the close people like close friends, brothers, sisters, their families, etc.
Anyway, Once the children in these families want/forced to get married either in a traditional or modern way, they will still have ‘Khastegari’ and ‘Namzadi’ and these two customs are done usually in a way similar to the traditional families rather than modern families. After that the couple falls in love and decides to get married, they should celebrate their marriage ceremony. In this ceremony the guests should give their gifts to the couple which usually are really worth a fortune.
In these families, the way that boys and girls start dating or have relationships before the marriage is exactly similar to the boys and girls belonged to the modern families with one big difference and this difference is that usually one or both parents are not aware of these relationships.
Further, concealing these relationships is not the only problem in these families.
It should be mentioned that most of the Iranians do fit in one these categories, however, there are many other families who were traditional but are moving toward being considered as a modern families.