My dad is of mixed European ancestry and self-identifies as White, and my mom is half Puerto Rican and half Italian and identifies as multi-racial (however, she acknowledges that she can oftentimes pass for White and as such does benefit from White privilege).
I grew up in a predominantly White area and was one of the only Asian American students for the entirety of my grammar and high school career.
While this may be true for some, I would argue that in general men, regardless of their ethnic or racial background, are given far more freedom to choose their partner than women of the same group.
This can be seen throughout history and across cultures as men were encouraged to not only control the sexual rights of women of their own group, but also to garner the rights of those of neighboring groups as well (in true imperialistic fashion).
Thus, when we try to reconcile the obvious contradictions observed between not just the stereotypes associated with both groups but more importantly the MEANINGS ascribed to those stereotypes, it becomes clear that they are more or less illusory.
Even if we entertain the common riposte “well, stereotypes DO exist for a reason,” and do an honest study of where these stereotypes came from and more importantly why they persist, it becomes clear that their conception had far more to do with specific social and political agendas than anything else.
There are of course exceptions I am sure but I would argue that no matter what, men have never been held to the same standard as women in regards to maintaining cultural/racial “purity” and may as a result have more power to decide whom they date and/or marry than a non-Asian dater may initially think.
I am a 32 year old Korean American man who was adopted from South Korea when I was nine months old.
Either scenario could result in having to deal with the pressure to assimilate into mainstream American society (which is always synonymous with White in the US) or adhere to the cultural traditions of one’s sending country.
(Thus, I am skeptical that this problem would not be potentially encountered by Black American women dating Greek, Italian, or even Nigerian men whose parents were urging them to do one or both of the above.)Finally, there is the concern that Asian men may only be interested in Asian women/may not be attracted to Black women.
While it may seem as though White and Black Americans are positioned on antithetical ends of an idyllic racial spectrum, I would argue that in actuality it is Asians who are presented as the polar opposites of their Black counterparts (in many respects with Asians as hypo and Black Americans as hyper ).
For instance, as a whole Asians are seen as small, quiet, and unassertive (which in a Western context are coded as feminine), whereas Black people are presented as big, loud, and physically dominant/imposing (which in turn are coded as masculine).
I use this example not because I am trying to argue that Koreans or other Asians are in no way prejudiced all by themselves and that those biased ways of seeing things may impede an otherwise decent romantic relationship; rather, I am merely trying to illustrate a degree of complexity to this issue which I feel is oftentimes overlooked.