Depending on how long you were in a committed partnership, it may be years since you were last single.You are now older, have a lot more responsibilities than you did in your early 20s, and may have children.But, I figured, if Robin Wright can snag a hot younger boyfriend after 15 years of marriage and a very public divorce, I could at least give dating a shot.To my pleasant surprise, my 30-something confidence combined with the dawn of casual online dating culture made for one damn fun year and a half.And so, should you find yourself dating after divorce, it is important that you be patient with yourself.
However, if despite your efforts, you find that you are unable to make this shift on your own, seek out professional help such as a therapist and/or a coach, develop a yoga and mindfulness practice, and emerge yourself in a supportive environment with like-minded people and uplifting content (books, audios, podcasts, etc.) In addition to feeling better in your everyday life, your experience of dating will be radically different.
In my mind, I was thinking, “When did I become old enough to date these men?
” Clearly, I was not in touch with the fact that I was older (now in may 30s,) and so naturally, so was my dating pool!
I share this now with a light heart, because five years after my separation, I have “acclimatized” and have since happily dated middle-aged men, many of whom are divorced and have children.
In other words, my dating pool didn’t change, I did.
I often coach my clients to come up with a list of “essential” qualities; qualities that are directly correlated with their happiness in the long-term.