Reassure them that both parents love them, even if you do not believe it. In one sense or another, they probably feel abandoned. And provide the other parent lots of opportunities to do the same.
Dating and introducing another male or female figure into their lives at this time is wrong, wrong, wrong. As the custodial parent, you should be looking for reasons to allow the other parent to see his/her child/children, not reasons to deny those opportunities.
If for some reason they must become involved, prepare them properly without poisoning their minds about your spouse. Tell the children that the divorce is not their fault and that they will still have both parents when everything is over with.Statistically speaking, this is true, but this is not the law.The main reason for the ‘mother-bias’ is most likely that mothers generally come into court with the children living in their homes.If the children are thriving, there more often than not is no real reason to risk a change to another home. However, there are some (many) judges who feel deep down that mothers make better single parents.These judges have a subconscious (sometimes overt) standard that parental unfitness must be proven to “deprive” a mother of custody.The legal standard for deciding who will be awarded custody of a child is “what is in the best interests of the child.” It is not “mom always wins.” Here are the statutory citations. Virginia Code Sections 20-124.1 (definitions), 20-124.2 (general standard), 20-124.3 (detailed factors).