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I rationalized that he talked to me because he enjoyed poking fun at me.I couldn’t understand why dating an overweight girl like me would interest anybody.After Mike, I tried to force it with a guy named Forrest. Caring, funny, talented, gentle, heartfelt, playful, passionate. Our friendship began that summer and stayed strong.I regularly dreamed of telling him how I felt, but I was too self-conscious and nervous.

I was opening myself up to new situations and I wasn’t going to throw myself at every guy who contacted me. I’d lost around 40 pounds since I’d admitted my feelings to Forrest.Looking back, I hated myself too much to be able to give anybody else anything but hate.Before you enter a relationship, you need to be able to give yourself what you want to give another.You might assume that I was actively looking for a boyfriend on OKCupid. By creating an account on OKCupid, I was opening myself up to love, not setting a goal to find love. I asked myself: Losing weight was one way for me to do those things. In the end, those reasons didn’t motivate me enough to stick to my weight loss plans.Whether or not you need to lose weight depends upon your love for yourself. I began to lose weight when I started to become healthier.They weren’t serious relationships, but I was still jealous. Even after goofy Mike literally asked me on a date, I didn’t take him seriously. We acted together in a summer theatre program called Second Stage.

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