If you do not respect and appreciate your partners culture (to the extent you are willing to forsake elements of your own culture for their benefit), intercultural and interracial relationships are nearly impossible.I started to wonder if there were any other couples “out there” like me.It’s also a trip to go squid fishing, a tandem biking adventure, or making bibimbap. As I mentioned before, I recently connected with several AMWF communities.They have been a fun, interesting, and informative support group – especially the bloggers.” On that same tangent, people think that interracial relationships don’t attract stares, criticism, or whispers.Unfortunately, racism is still alive, all over the world. I wrote a piece about this that went viral, “dear world, saying my husband is ‘attractive for an Asian guy’ isn’t a compliment, it’s actually kind of racist.” No one seems to like the people their friend’s choose to date.
There is no way to coast in an interracial relationship. Some of the time it is simple trade-offs like “I will wipe me feet off before getting into bed if you don’t do laundry every day.” Or “I will shower in the evening if you will buy beer instead of sake.” Other times it is complicated things you don’t know how to compromise on.
Love is not enough to keep a relationship going, it is definitely not enough to conquer all problems, but it certainly helps. [For more, check out: Things I love about Japan: Couple Wear] Intercultural dating is a lot of things. Two years later, and I never know what to expect on dates. But I really fell in love with the culture once I started dating Ryosuke. He was the one who helped me understand the types of sexism in Japan (for more, check out this post) But living with him, his family, and his friends, I have been given the enormously unique opportunity of doing participant observation of the Japanese culture.
A romantic walk on the beach is never just a romantic walk on the beach. And, well, I started this blog to document what I found.
And it is a little bit scary trying to live day by day. The hardest part of an intercultural relationship is deciding when to compromise, when to fight, and when to draw the line. What are you supposed to do if your partner is completely opposed to your religion?
Sure, this week I think it is a bit silly (but adorable) that Ryosuke makes me wipe my feet off with wet wipes before climbing into bed (even if I have been wearing slippers all day). He likes the fact I am ambitious and want to have a solid career, but what about in five years, when his family is pressuring me to quit my job to have (and take care of) kids? What if he thinks you should quit your job after marriage to become a housewife?
He will never catch all the sarcastic jokes my sister whispers under her breath; I will never be able to reply quickly enough to his father’s drunken ramblings.