Each then used Venmo, the peer-to-peer payment app, to request that his date reimburse her share after the fact. “I do not have time for scrubs,” one said, speaking for all.
They had expected to be treated, not treated as debtors.
A guy who seeks recourse through Venmo the morning after is a guy who doesn’t think he got his money’s worth the night before.
But what of a man’s biological imperative to provide for his mate, you ask?
How else, in modern times, can he experience the atavistic pleasure of returning to his cave fresh from a hunt, happily dragging a woolly-mammoth carcass behind him, if not by buying a pair of movie tickets instead of just one for himself? As I wrote in my piece, the origins of our gendered treating tradition are historical, not genetic—and recent history at that.
The imperative that men pay for women goes back to the start of the twentieth century, when dating was a new method of courtship practiced by members of the urban working class.
This impression of largesse was somewhat diminished by the fact that his parents had given him spending money and instructed him to take me out; mine had instructed me to prevent this from happening.
They will take you to very trendy experimental-cocktail bars that they read about on Gothamist.
I know, I know: a trend piece does not a trend make.
The quirks of a few often get mistaken for the habits of many.
There’s a solution to all of this, as simple in theory as it is awkward in practice.
The quotes a financial expert who recommends that “both parties should agree on who’s paying for what before going on a date.” This is sound advice, to the extent that it encourages the sharing of expenses that are, in fact, shared, though implementing it might call for expertise of the psychological kind, too. Nothing is harder to discuss, in the context of romance, or more likely to give offense when one does, not even sex—which is unfortunate, considering that only one of those two issues is guaranteed to persist, without fail, over the course of a relationship.
On the other hand, requesting repayment through Venmo underscores the absurdity of the consensus that, when it comes to the transaction known as the heterosexual date, men must bear the full financial burden, and thus wield full purchasing power.