Not every one of these situations is going to be a soap opera about forbidden love and sexual corruption; sometimes it really is just about two people who really like and respect each other.
It’s totally doable, as long as you keep some things (*cough* MY INSANELY WISE WORDS BELOW *cough*) in mind.
I made my own decisions when I was 15, and I enjoyed the majority of the time I spent dating that 28-year-old as well as the older dudes who came after him.
But if you’re looking to get into one of these situations, I’m guessing you don’t need to be told about the alluring/fun parts, and if you’re writing to us about it, it’s clear that you are weighing your decision carefully, and not being passively swept away or coerced.
Kelly, who was boning her teenage self at the time?
I thought I was totally prepared to deal with the daily realities of having a boyfriend who was older than me by a decade-plus, which turned out to be less than correct.That said, when you’re 17 or 18, it’s not really a big deal to hook up with someone who’s just a few years older than you. If you’re unsure, a good rule of thumb is to draw the line at getting involved with anyone who is older than you by a quarter of the years you’ve been alive.(And many jurisdictions have added so-called “Romeo and Juliet” clauses to their statutory-rape laws to acknowledge this common sense.) Maybe your girlfriend or boyfriend went off to college, maybe you met a cute 21-year-old drummer at a show—these things happen and are fine as long as you feel comfortable with this older person. Are they respectful of your life outside of your relationship? And anyone under the age of 17 should probably wait a little while to be with any person whose age doesn’t also end in -teen. You have plenty of time to date people older than you, but not nearly as much to have a high-school romance. You have literally the rest of your earthly days to date people in their 20s and up, but you can never have a real high-school romance again after 12th grade is over.I romanticized a story about an adult man kidnapping, molesting, and raping an adolescent girl.None of that stuff happened to me, but I still wince when I remember how I idealized the thought of someone being single-mindedly obsessed with me the way the novel’s narrator is with Lolita.Which means it can sometimes be tough to find things in common with other people who, well, aren’t that way, including potential homecoming dates.