In this situation, you’re allowing him to act that way by accepting it.It’s unfortunate (and it applies to both men and women), but people will only put as much value on you as you put on yourself.Updated to add: The use of the term ‘single mother’ is not exactly accurate. If you screw up and get pregnant, don’t screw up even more and bring an innocent child along with you! Divorced moms who escaped abusive marriages with drug/sex/gambling/whatever addicts should not get a free pass from you, either.If you are a mother and you are collecting child support, you are not a single mother. The rest of us who have to LIVE with your fucked up, emotionally scarred children will PAY you to have a fucking abortion. Second, single mothers are clearly really, really shitty at making life decisions. You both put each other’s happiness above your own. Now divorced mothers, who are a breed of single mothers, MIGHT be a little different, but whenever you approach one, sing this little song in your head: it takes two to tango. Even if it’s TRUE that the husband was a colossal fuck-up, you need to ask yourself what kind of imperceptive moron couldn’t spot that?
I would say it as a habit and to show appreciation, but the women often misinterpreted it as me being really into them, like they were my one and only special someone (meanwhile I had handfuls of girls I was calling “babe” and whatnot.) My point is, it doesn’t matter what pet-names he calls you or whether or not he says how much he likes you.
Sometimes the answer is more nuanced than normal or requires cutting through a Gordian knot of related issues.
But, occasionally, I’ll get a letter from a reader that requires a deeper and more thorough dive than the usual request for advice.
This isn’t being manipulative – guys actually like to pursue women (to a point) and we appreciate having the space to do so (and not being smothered).
If you do this, you’ll have much better luck, I’m sure of it.
If you accept being treated like an option that can be discarded at the last minute, then that is how he (and other guys) will treat you.