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I mean, and if this is the only way I can stay connected with her, then... Alex "Hitch" Hitchens: Now, on the one hand, it is very difficult for a man to even speak to someone who looks like you. I mean, you're sending all the right signals - no earrings, heels under two inches, your hair is pulled back, you're wearing reading glasses with no book, drinking a Grey Goose martini, which means you had a hell of a week and a beer just wouldn't do it. You trick women into getting..." Hitch: "Into getting out of their own way so great guys like Albert Brennaman have a fighting chance." Speed Dating Host: "Please..." Hitch: "No, no, no.
I mean, I've waited my whole life to feel this miserable. 60% of all human communication is nonverbal body language; 30% is your tone, so that means 90% of what you're saying ain't coming out of your mouth.
Albert: You know, honestly, I never knew I could feel like this. I, I see a cab and I just wanna dive in front of it because then I'll stop thinking about her. Because this -- this right here -- this is exactly why falling in love is so goddamn hard!
It's like I want to throw myself off of every building in New York. But, on the other hand, should that be your problem? And if that wasn't clear enough, there's always the "**** off" that you have stamped on your forehead. I want -- (gestures at speed dating scene) I want everybody to take a look at this right now.
Universaal struggling salesman takes custody of his son as he's poised to begin a life-changing professional career.